Note: This isn’t real news. Nor is it fake news. It isn’t news at all. It is political commentary, using the genre of satire, and should be read in that light.
Twas the dawn of a new day And in the White House, the President awoke Like a twittering mouse. His mind was all blank, With nothing to say: So he ran to his altar For the news of the day. He was shocked, he was stunned, He was saddened a lot: For overnight came a storm Harming land he had bought! He typed in a flash:"Terrible news! Sand out of trap, tree in fairway! Unfair to greens' builders! We must help them today!" Giving a whistle, lackeys came round, With whom he spoke with uproarious sound: "Cut money and aid for the hungry and poor, For golf course owners need it much more! Tell Congress to act and pass a bill Providing relief for this terrible ill!" Quickly they went to do his bidding, For they could tell he was not kidding. On Kelly! On Spicer! On Mike Pence, also! Lie away, lie away, lie away now! And as they went their appointed way, They heard Mr. President chuckle and say, "Merry Christmas to me, And my whole family!"